Motivational interviewing is a collaborative way of talking about behaviour change without relying on lectures or pressure. It can help when part of you wants a change and another part is unsure.
It can help to notice the ordinary situations in which this shows up, rather than waiting for a dramatic turning point.
Recognising the patterns
Choosing a therapeutic approach is a conversation, not a test. Different practitioners use different methods, and the useful question is whether the approach fits your goals, preferences, safety and circumstances.
Some experiences worth recognising include:
- Ambivalence is common even when a habit causes difficulties.
- Being pushed can strengthen defensiveness.
- Personally meaningful reasons often carry more weight than someone else's demands.
If the first approach does not help, it is reasonable to review it rather than assuming you have failed. Different concerns and stages of life may call for different kinds of support.
Practical steps worth considering
The following ideas are starting points, not a checklist you have to complete:
- Write down what you like and dislike about the current situation.
- Describe the costs and benefits of change in your own words.
- Choose a small experiment rather than declaring an all-or-nothing rule.
Think small and specific. The point is to learn from an experiment, not to prove that you can control every emotion or outcome.
How professional support may help
A practitioner may use reflective listening, open questions and summaries to help you clarify motivation. This approach is often used alongside other counselling or treatment.
Before starting, you can ask about qualifications, confidentiality, session length, fees and how progress is reviewed. In Australia, psychologists are registered health practitioners; counsellors have different training and professional arrangements.
When discussing a difficult topic, you can say what you do not want to discuss yet. A respectful practitioner can explain the purpose of an exercise and seek your consent.
Recognising meaningful progress
A useful sign of change is not necessarily that difficult feelings vanish. You might recover sooner, communicate more clearly or take a valued action despite discomfort.
You might notice that difficult moments take up less room in your day, that you recognise your needs sooner, or that you feel more able to make considered choices. It is worth checking whether a strategy actually improves your life rather than simply making you look as though you are coping.
Understanding a pattern can create space for a different response.
A question for reflection
What reason for change belongs to you rather than to someone else?
You could use that question in a journal, reflect on it while walking, or bring it to a conversation with a professional or someone you trust. You do not have to find the perfect answer immediately. The purpose is to notice what matters and what support may be needed.
When to seek additional support
Consider reaching out to a GP or qualified mental health professional if the issue continues, intensifies or affects sleep, relationships, work, study or everyday functioning. A professional can help you understand your options and whether further assessment or specialist care is appropriate.
If someone is in immediate danger in Australia, call 000. For crisis support, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14. These services do not replace ongoing assessment or treatment.
Further reading: healthdirect: Counsellors and counselling. This article is general information and is not a diagnosis or a substitute for personal professional advice.
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