Toxic Relationship & Safety Self-Check
A brief relationship-safety check focused on respect, autonomy, control, intimidation, coercion, isolation and whether you feel safe to make your own choices.
This self-check is educational and is not a legal determination, domestic-violence risk assessment or diagnosis. A low total score does not cancel out a serious individual behaviour such as threats, coercion, stalking or physical harm.
I feel I have to monitor my words or behaviour to avoid the other person’s reaction.
The other person puts me down, humiliates me or makes me feel small.
My feelings or concerns are regularly dismissed, mocked or turned back on me.
I am made to question my memory, judgment or understanding of what happened.
The other person shows extreme jealousy or treats normal independence as a threat.
The other person tries to control who I see, where I go or how I spend my time.
The other person interferes with my contact with friends, family, culture or support networks.
My phone, messages, social media, location or movements are monitored in ways I have not freely agreed to.
Money, transport, work, housing or access to important services are controlled to limit my independence.
There are rules, punishments or consequences when I do not behave the way the other person expects.
The other person threatens me, intimidates me or makes me fear what they may do.
The other person threatens to harm themselves, me, people I care about, children or pets in order to influence my choices.
I have been pressured, coerced or made afraid to say no to sexual activity.
The other person has deliberately physically hurt me or used physical force to frighten or control me.
I fear for my safety, or the safety of children, pets or people close to me, because of this relationship.
I hide information from friends or family because I am worried about how they would react to what is happening.
I apologise, give in or change my behaviour mainly to prevent conflict, anger or punishment.
My confidence, identity or independence has reduced during the relationship.
I feel trapped or believe leaving, setting boundaries or saying no could make things worse.
Overall, the relationship leaves me feeling more afraid, controlled, confused or diminished than respected and safe.
Keep or share a copy of your result
You can email a copy of this result to yourself. You can separately choose whether Joe's Counselling may receive an anonymous copy of your responses and result for quality improvement and research.
This self-check is educational and is not a legal determination, domestic-violence risk assessment or diagnosis. A low total score does not cancel out a serious individual behaviour such as threats, coercion, stalking or physical harm.