Attachment & Relationship Patterns Check-In
A detailed private Backing U self-assessment designed to help you reflect on recurring patterns around closeness, reassurance, independence, withdrawal and responses to perceived rejection. It looks across becoming highly anxious when closeness feels uncertain, needing repeated reassurance to feel secure, withdrawing or distancing when emotional closeness increases, interpreting ordinary space as rejection or loss of interest and repeating similar pursuit-and-withdrawal patterns across relationships. The assessment contains 20 questions and is intended to give you a structured wellbeing snapshot, highlight the areas having the greatest effect, and provide practical recommendations for what to do next. It is not designed to diagnose a condition or replace an individual professional assessment.
The Attachment & Relationship Patterns Check-In is a Backing U educational wellbeing and self-reflection tool. It is not a validated diagnostic instrument, does not provide a clinical diagnosis and does not replace individual assessment or advice from a qualified professional. Scores are influenced by how questions are understood and by the timeframe selected. If several items are marked N/A, the total may be lower and should be interpreted cautiously; individual responses may be more informative than the total score. If difficulties are severe, rapidly worsening, affecting basic functioning or creating safety concerns, seek appropriate professional or urgent support. External resources are provided for further reading and support only. They are operated by independent Australian or UK organisations and their inclusion does not imply endorsement of this Backing U tool.
I have noticed becoming highly anxious when closeness feels uncertain.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Becoming highly anxious when closeness feels uncertain has been difficult to ignore, switch off or manage once it starts.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Becoming highly anxious when closeness feels uncertain has affected my concentration, mood, sleep, relationships, responsibilities or usual routine.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have changed, delayed, avoided or pushed through things because of becoming highly anxious when closeness feels uncertain.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have noticed needing repeated reassurance to feel secure.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Needing repeated reassurance to feel secure has been difficult to ignore, switch off or manage once it starts.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Needing repeated reassurance to feel secure has affected my concentration, mood, sleep, relationships, responsibilities or usual routine.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have changed, delayed, avoided or pushed through things because of needing repeated reassurance to feel secure.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have noticed withdrawing or distancing when emotional closeness increases.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Withdrawing or distancing when emotional closeness increases has been difficult to ignore, switch off or manage once it starts.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Withdrawing or distancing when emotional closeness increases has affected my concentration, mood, sleep, relationships, responsibilities or usual routine.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have changed, delayed, avoided or pushed through things because of withdrawing or distancing when emotional closeness increases.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have noticed interpreting ordinary space as rejection or loss of interest.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Interpreting ordinary space as rejection or loss of interest has been difficult to ignore, switch off or manage once it starts.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Interpreting ordinary space as rejection or loss of interest has affected my concentration, mood, sleep, relationships, responsibilities or usual routine.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have changed, delayed, avoided or pushed through things because of interpreting ordinary space as rejection or loss of interest.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have noticed repeating similar pursuit-and-withdrawal patterns across relationships.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Repeating similar pursuit-and-withdrawal patterns across relationships has been difficult to ignore, switch off or manage once it starts.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Repeating similar pursuit-and-withdrawal patterns across relationships has affected my concentration, mood, sleep, relationships, responsibilities or usual routine.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
I have changed, delayed, avoided or pushed through things because of repeating similar pursuit-and-withdrawal patterns across relationships.
Choose 0 if this has not applied and 10 if it has applied extremely strongly, frequently or consistently during the stated timeframe. Use N/A only if the question is genuinely not relevant.
Keep or share a copy of your result
You can email a copy of this result to yourself. You can separately choose whether Backing U may receive an anonymous copy of your responses and result for quality improvement and research.
The Attachment & Relationship Patterns Check-In is a Backing U educational wellbeing and self-reflection tool. It is not a validated diagnostic instrument, does not provide a clinical diagnosis and does not replace individual assessment or advice from a qualified professional. Scores are influenced by how questions are understood and by the timeframe selected. If several items are marked N/A, the total may be lower and should be interpreted cautiously; individual responses may be more informative than the total score. If difficulties are severe, rapidly worsening, affecting basic functioning or creating safety concerns, seek appropriate professional or urgent support. External resources are provided for further reading and support only. They are operated by independent Australian or UK organisations and their inclusion does not imply endorsement of this Backing U tool.